Why Is Blind Dating Harder to Form “Feelings” Than Free Love?
Let’s talk about what girls have been talking about all along, “feelings.”
It’s actually sexual impulse.
It’s the most primal instinct, the reproductive impulse that arises from the heart.
Of course, it doesn’t necessarily have to be handsome, that’s too narrow.
It could also be about having leadership, assertiveness, insight, experience, talent, status.
And this can’t be forced; it can only be evoked internally. Trying to persuade yourself with logic is useless.
Of course, it doesn’t necessarily have to cover everything. Many girls have a “point.”
For instance, this girl may have a high regard for someone with broad knowledge.
For another girl, someone who speaks seriously and confidently may catch her eye.
If you happen to cover her preferences, then it’s easier to create a spark.
Some girls are only attracted to handsome guys.
Some girls like to be conquered by strong men.
Some girls have a single high threshold, requiring a very handsome guy, regardless of whether he is uncouth or uncultured.
Some girls have a more comprehensive threshold, where a handsome face that happens to touch her “G spot” is enough, but at the same time, a combination of tenderness, thoughtfulness, and warmth is required.
But overall,
Physical appearance is still the most likely to provoke sexual impulses, and it is generally applicable to most women.
When two people meet.
A young man of 5'2" with a plain face.
Even if he is outstanding in his work and comes from a well-off family and speaks elegantly, the girl cannot summon any desire to kiss, let alone get intimate.
Greasy rich men can indeed attract beautiful women.
But that belongs to a disguised transaction involving money and sex.
The girl is basically enduring it, treating it like a job, just to finish the game of poker.
It’s essentially about being a big provider, each taking what they need.
There’s no male-female relationship, let alone love.
No matter how the girl convinces herself that this person is suitable and economical, she just can’t summon any sexual interest, she just doesn’t feel anything.
Returning to the main topic, why is it harder for blind dating to form “feelings” than free love?
Because the selection sequence and frequency of selection for blind dates and free love are different.
For blind dates, you set a threshold and present conditions from the start, including car, house, financial status, job, age, and appearance, and only then do you sit down and talk about feelings.
In this scenario, let’s say you go on two blind dates on the weekends and one every other day during the week, a total of five blind dates each week.
It’s quite a lot, and I think this frequency is almost half professional.
Meeting five people a week, 20 a month, and a total of 240 in a year.
Anyway, I’ve never seen such high-intensity blind dating last for a year.
So, finding “feelings” is essentially about hitting probabilities, where the probability differs based on different conditions.
It’s quite difficult to find someone you have feelings for among 240 people.
If you’re strong in every aspect, then you’ll quickly find a partner at this rate.
If you’re strong in some aspects and not in others, this quantity combined with this time, energy, and cost can be quite a blow.
Free love, on the other hand.
Forget everything else, you go on 240 dates in a year.
I open a premium account on a dating app, and in 2 hours, I can swipe 240 people. Among 240 people, you should at least find one and a half who you get along with.
No luck? Then spend another 2 hours.
One of my roommates from university used to set himself the task of chatting with girls on the school playground in the evenings.
He asked 10 girls a day, and he persistently did this for 2 months. Think about how many people that is.
Towards the end, there were repeat encounters.
Do you understand now?
Before free love starts, it’s as if you’re rapidly selecting from a large group of the opposite sex.
Whereas before a blind date, you’re not sure if you two will have feelings.
In this proportion, blind dating is naturally less efficient than free love.
The tangible result is that it’s harder to find “feelings” through blind dating.
But blind dating has an advantage.
Once both sides truly have feelings, it’s very easy to enter into marriage.
Because the early threshold and selection have already filtered out factors peripheral to emotions.
In free love, if you want to enter into marriage, it’s not that easy.
Finding “feelings” is easy, but finding a match for marriage is difficult.
Family, education, work, finances, habits, values.
Each step is a hurdle, and you have to shed layers with each step.
And through other channels outside of colleagues, classmates, and friends.
For example, chatting up, online dating, offline gaming, and activities that involve a bit of luck.
Here, there are all kinds of people, with a very high upper limit and a very low lower limit.
This tactic is quite suitable for the early stages of skill point allocation.
If you truly want to enter into marriage, then you’ll have to screen carefully.
However, the good thing about free love is that it has a foundation of “primitive feelings.”
When faced with conflicts, each side is more likely to make compromises and concessions based on their emotions.
This “emotional premium” can offset some of the mismatches in hardware conditions.
Unlike blind dating, where there isn’t an emotional foundation, and you could be passed over merely because there’s a wrinkle in your clothes.
In the end,
Blind dating and free love each have their pros and cons.
If they can complement each other in sequence, the effect is even better.
Finding the method that suits you best is the most important thing.
