Why Does Emotional Betrayal Captivate People So Much
Betraying emotions is no small matter. Once this step is taken, it often determines the fate and outcome of one’s life.
People who betray emotions often start off indifferently, thinking they are merely seeking some excitement and overestimating their ability to control the situation. They believe they can handle it and that it won’t interfere with their freedom and flexibility in coming and going. However, the result is usually loss of control.
Breaking off such relationships is difficult. It’s hard to end them, at least not easily. There are two reasons for this difficulty, one psychological and the other practical. The psychological reason is subjective, and the practical reason is objective. Today, we will discuss the psychological dependence and the subjective reasons for being ambiguous or not wanting to end it completely.
Why Does Emotional Betrayal Captivate People So Much?
First, the feelings experienced in a betraying relationship differ from those in a marriage.
The feelings experienced in a betraying relationship are primarily the “good” parts of a close relationship, while marriage involves a mix of good and bad. Marriage requires responsibility and brings with it more difficulties and problems, conflicts and contradictions.
Betrayal is essentially an avoidance of responsibility in a marriage. The feelings experienced in betrayal are primarily the “good” aspects of a relationship. That’s why betrayers feel that the third party understands them, doesn’t make things difficult, and empathizes and cares for them. This feeling arises because betrayers experience only the “good” side of the relationship and not the mundane, irritating aspects, such as household chores, eating and using the bathroom.
Therefore, those who engage in extramarital affairs often move from one affair to another. This cycle continues because they avoid the mundane problems that come with being in a committed relationship. They believe that their difficulties stem from not having found the right person.
Second, betrayal provides immense stimulation and satisfaction.
Betrayal is a form of thrill-seeking. For some, this thrill provides immense satisfaction. This thrill, from a physiological perspective, releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with the brain’s reward system, leading to addiction. Once addicted, it is hard to quit.
Some people steal, not because they need the items, but because stealing provides a thrill. If the stolen item belonged to them, they wouldn’t be interested. Similarly, some people cheat for the thrill, not because they are unhappy in their relationship.
From a professional perspective, this behavior is a psychological disorder. People who betray their partners for the thrill often don’t leave their spouse. Instead, they frequently change partners because the thrill fades over time, and they lose interest.
Therefore, the reason they are captivated by betrayal is that they are drawn to it.
Third, betrayal is a form of self-validation.
This perspective may be hard for some to understand, especially those who have experienced emotional betrayal.
For betrayers, playing a certain role in a betraying relationship is enjoyable. They often play the role of the cared-for (usually women) or the caregiver (usually men). In other words, they enjoy their role in the relationship and feel that their spouse doesn’t give them this feeling.
This dynamic is similar to a woman who betrays her husband because she feels neglected or a man who betrays his wife because he feels unappreciated.
Moreover, betrayers believe that the person they betray with is “superior.” They think highly of themselves, believing that they are making progress.
In reality, someone who accepts betrayal is not necessarily good. Their goodness may be in their achievements, fame, wealth, or status, but they may lack essential qualities such as kindness and empathy.
However, most betrayers won’t accept this view. It’s normal for them not to, or else they wouldn’t have chosen betrayal.
