Why Can’t Many Beautiful and Accomplished Women Find Partners?
1. The Dilemma of Pursuit
Not many guys pursue beautiful and accomplished women because most honest guys don’t dare to pursue them.
So, for these beautiful and accomplished women, if they don’t take the initiative, their options are very limited.
2. Beauty and Accomplishments Don’t Guarantee a Match
Their single status isn’t directly related to their beauty and accomplishments.
It’s about their own standards for a partner. With good qualities, it’s natural to seek an even better match.
Setting these standards requires careful consideration and a high level of self-awareness.
For instance, I chatted with a boss at a matchmaking event. We talked about a 36-year-old woman, 158 cm tall, weighing 120 pounds, earning 800,000 a year from an average family, and unmarried.
She wants a man earning over a million, 175 cm tall, childless, and under 40.
She called it “settling” since she couldn’t find a man meeting these criteria.
This is a classic case of distorted self-awareness.
She thinks she deserves such a man, but in reality, she’s not in that league in the dating market.
If she doesn’t adjust her mindset and return to a realistic position, she’ll remain single. This isn’t settling; it’s a lack of clear self-awareness.
I’ve seen too many women who claim they’re not willing to settle, but in reality, they lack reasonable and clear self-identification.
With this mindset, they’re bound to struggle to find a partner.
3. The Issue of Initiating Love
The main reason I’m discussing this is that love at first sight is rare. Even when it happens, someone has to take the first step. If both people wait for the other to make a move, they’re likely to miss out.
In big cities like first-tier and second-tier ones, high-quality men are a rare breed. They’re the target of pursuit for all eligible women.
So, actively managing relationships is a comprehensive skill. Initiating conversation and making plans is just the first step.
If initiating conversation and making plans are enough to win someone over, it means the guy has a lot of affection for the woman.
In passive relationships, the risks of taking the initiative and the hurt of rejection are borne by the man. The responsibility for satisfying the woman’s emotions and advancing the relationship also falls on the man.
In passive relationships, women can’t directly face problems and difficulties. Consequently, their emotional capabilities are hard to improve because the problems and difficulties are resolved by the man.
For example, when a woman meets a good guy but he isn’t as proactive, she has to face the problems the man typically takes care of.
If the woman lacks the ability, just initiating conversation and making plans won’t be enough to manage the relationship properly.
4. When Women Take the Initiative
When a woman takes the initiative to pursue a man she likes for the first time, initiating conversation and making plans are just the first steps.
When a passive woman faces the problems mentioned before, she’s at a loss. She doesn’t know how to handle them because the man has always addressed these issues and she lacks the ability to actively manage relationships.
When a woman takes the initiative, initiating conversation and making plans are just the first step.
When a passive woman faces those problems, she’s at a loss. She’s never faced them before, so she’s ill-equipped to handle them. There are many more challenges, and if she can’t handle them, the relationship is unlikely to succeed.
For example, in a relationship, a woman asks her boyfriend, “What are we?”
He answers, “Emotionally, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend; career-wise, we’re like brothers; in life, we’re partners.”
This is a typical case because the man’s answer isn’t what the woman expected. She can’t find the certainty of his love for her or the expression of love she’s expecting.
Given her previous experience of men pursuing her, she never expected her boyfriend to give such an answer. She still expects her boyfriend to meet her previous expectations, so when he doesn’t, she doesn’t know how to handle it. In the past, she would just get angry with her pursuers, so she reacts the same way with her boyfriend.
So, it’s clear that passive women lack the ability to actively manage relationships.
If a boyfriend doesn’t express himself as expected, it’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he may not have thought of it.
In a relationship, in addition to initial requirements, the emotional demands of being together are even higher. These emotional demands are harder to meet than the initial requirements because no man can read a woman’s mind to know her expectations.
So, if a woman has never taken the initiative in the past and has always been pursued, when she wants to take the initiative to pursue a man, just initiating conversations and making plans won’t be enough.
In the example given above, we see that actively managing relationships is a comprehensive skill. Initiating conversations and making plans are just the first steps.
If a woman tries to pursue a man and still expects the high emotional state she experienced when men pursued her in the past, the relationship is unlikely to succeed. This is a difference many women fail to notice.
Because they disregard reality, they’re just boyfriend and girlfriend, indulging in their fantasies and emotional satisfaction, thinking it’s the boyfriend’s fault. If they keep this up, they’re bound to break up.
So, women must respect and accept reality and try to understand each other’s thoughts rationally. This is a crucial step in learning to manage a relationship.
