Who is the Woman Men Love Most: Lover or Wife?
To be honest, being a lover is easier than being a wife.
Not getting married means being free. From planning the day to setting life goals, it’s all up to you. This kind of freedom is really precious. Of course, you can socialize with friends and date different men if that makes you happy, which is something a wife can’t enjoy.
While many women strive to be the perfect wife, some women enjoy the efforts of the men behind these wives.
One is a wife, the other is a lover.
So who is the woman men love most?
The wife always takes good care of the man.
She is an impeccable figure in the family, caring for everything from her husband’s career, the children’s education, to daily meals and household chores.
But in the man’s eyes, the wife is not attractive. She tends to be controlling, unkempt, boring, and nagging.
The lover, on the other hand, is different.
She is beautiful, fun, gentle, and lovely. The man enjoys the time spent with the lover, which makes him forget the trivialities of daily life and find joy in every moment.
In essence, these two women are not fundamentally different.
The only difference is their status.
Before becoming someone’s wife, every woman is charming in the eyes of the opposite sex.
But after marriage, a woman becomes the least attractive in her husband’s eyes.
No matter who they marry, life after marriage is the same. The mystery between each other fades, replaced by mundane routines. The disheveled appearance in the morning, the weaknesses in character, irregular habits, all become exposed.
Some shining qualities are only present when one is a lover.
When a lover becomes a spouse, the romantic illusion instantly vanishes. As the couple lives together, the relationship gradually becomes numb, eventually becoming mere cohabitants, no longer appreciating each other as members of the opposite sex.
Love is strange in this way. Though it’s the same person, a change in status brings about a huge disparity.
Some women understand this well, so they would rather embrace singlehood than become someone’s wife.
These women prioritize self-love over others. They long for freedom, independence, and are adept at captivating men.
They never aspire to take the place of a wife, but they relish being a lover.
Though this contradicts traditional values morally, psychologically, these women have a powerful impact on men.
They understand what men need and have the time and energy to please them. They don’t revolve around their husbands all day, or get entangled in family gossip. When the man comes home, she remains her independent self.
So being a lover is much easier than being a wife. Apart from not bearing children for the man, a lover receives the man’s best emotional value and efforts.
However, there are things a lover cannot have.
That is, the legitimacy and family. Being a wife may have its challenges, but she is the man’s lawful partner, can openly display affection, and have her own children.
A woman will also grow old, and with age, she might fear loneliness.
The price of freedom is societal judgment and a lifetime of solitude.
Everything has two sides and cannot have the upper hand.
Therefore, there is no comparison between being a wife and a lover.
In essence, men have a double standard towards women.
They need the stability a wife brings, as well as the freshness a lover provides.
They want both. Men can’t resist being taken care of, but they also resist the domesticated life.
A wife, stable in status but lacks the man’s love.
A lover, unstable in status but forever stirs the man’s emotions.
Men’s infidelity to their wives, seeking emotional involvement elsewhere, often stems from the inability to find satisfaction in their wives. For instance, if the wife is intellectual, the husband might be interested in a woman who, though not as sharp, is tender and family-oriented. Ultimately, this is men’s caprice and genuine desire.—Jun’ichi Watanabe, “Men Are Like That”
No matter what you choose, or whether you marry or not, men are just like that.
They are there, and whether you approach or leave them is your choice.
Choosing to spend your life with someone requires great courage and wisdom.
“Marriage is not just the union of two people in love. They take on the roles of father, mother, or friend, and at times, display childlike innocence. Without these, it can hardly be called a true marriage.”
A single identity cannot fulfill each other. This is true for men and women. In life, we all need emotional nourishment, not just a cold role.
Marriage is a long process and will inevitably face various challenges and choices.
For women who want a long and happy marriage, the most important thing is not to lose themselves.
Give men some space and don’t satisfy all their desires and needs. Only when they are not overly complacent and comfortable in a relationship will they actively maintain it and value your efforts.
Self-growth is more important than anything. No one can’t live without someone. When a woman has independent capital, she won’t be trapped in an unhappy marriage.
