What Behaviors to Avoid When Just Getting to Know a Girl?

When making new friends, it’s best to avoid talking too deeply about personal matters.

When starting to flirt with a girl, it’s best to avoid being too intrusive or thinking too far ahead.

I’ve always emphasized that women have a strong defense mechanism when dealing with unfamiliar men.

Unless you have extremely strong sexual appeal (tall, rich, and handsome), prematurely crossing boundaries will make a woman feel insecure.

So, many women are resistant to men who are too familiar.

And being too familiar translates into being too intrusive and thinking too far ahead.

First, being too intrusive.

Some men, after only knowing a woman for a few days or just getting her contact information, start acting like a boyfriend and begin “caring” for the woman.

“Don’t eat too much spicy food; it’s bad for your stomach. Don’t stay up late; it’s bad for your skin and causes acne. Don’t stay out late; it’s unsafe for a girl to go home at night.”

Does she not know these things?

Of course, she does.

She’s been hearing this stuff from her parents since she was little. Who doesn’t know these things?

So why does she still do it?

Because it feels good, it makes her happy.

If her parents can’t control these things, who are you to try?

Who do you think you are?

Now let’s think about it from another perspective.

When your parents nag you day in and day out, don’t you get annoyed?

You’ve been told since you were young to play fewer video games and study hard. Did you listen?

She won’t listen to you about these things. She’ll think you’re too familiar and meddlesome, and she’ll find you annoying.

Why bother, right?

How would a seasoned person handle this?

You like spicy food, right?

Take her to the spiciest, most popular hot pot restaurant in the city, and just eat happily.

Then, after you’re both sweating from the heat, say to her with a pained expression, “Eating too much spicy food is really suffering. Let’s go easy on it in the future.”

She’ll be happy and feel like you’re looking out for her.

“That’s so considerate, he understands me,” that’s how you do it.

What do women need the most?

Companionship, not lectures.

Even a cat knows you should pet it in the direction of the fur.

Teaching through enjoyment is suitable for children and also for women.

Secondly, thinking too far ahead.

Some men confess their love, and as soon as the relationship is established, they can’t contain themselves and start planning for the distant future.

“This is my wife. We’ll spend our lives together.”

And then?

Just a few days into the relationship, they start planning when to get married, which school district to buy a house in, and which classes to enroll their future children in.

They’re practically showing their entire internal organs to their partner.

This makes the girl feel like, “If I don’t spend my life with him, there’s a good chance he’ll kill me.”

If you do this, you’ll scare off any girl.

Some women say the reason for breaking up is “no space,” when it’s actually being smothered too tightly.

Of course, some women want space to cheat on you.

You’ll have to figure that one out for yourself.

So, while your relationship isn’t stable, go easy on your overly lofty moral sense.

This isn’t about being a jerk; it’s about giving each other freedom and not making the girl feel guarded and defensive.

When you chat, talk about life, gossip, hobbies, and your emotional concepts.

Make her feel that she’s free and that you’re free too.

A good relationship should be comfortable, not stressful.

It’s like flying a kite.

If the kite is too far away, pull in the line.

If the kite is too close to the ground, let out some line.

Don’t cling to her every day, and definitely don’t send her long messages expressing your feelings.

Remember one standard: Don’t let your love life take up more than a third of your life.

When should you talk about plans and the future with a girl?

After you’ve done what needs to be done, after half a year or a year of getting along, when the relationship is stable.

When your main focus starts shifting from women back to your career and life.

When the girl starts getting clingy with you.

That’s when she’ll be more interested in talking about the future.

Then you can start planning your future together.

If you still want to, that is.