Want to see through marriage, keep your distance appropriately, don’t be unbelieving
Marriage to many of us seems like two families coming together to form a new one, without the boldness and romance of the honeymoon period, or the sweetness and whims of dating. It’s mostly about responsibility and duty.
I came across a quote by Teacher on Tiktok: Should women control men? Men who take care of their families don’t need to be controlled, while those who don’t, can’t be controlled by you.
Men who treat you well don’t need to be controlled, and those who don’t want you to control them; men who love you don’t need to be controlled, while those who don’t, why bother controlling them?
Marriage is built on trust and responsibility. If you’ve decided to spend your life with someone, you must trust them wholeheartedly. Suspicion will lead to the end of any relationship.
Treat others as you want to be treated
Janice has been married to her husband Ronald for three years. They’ve gone from being inseparable to now treating each other with respect. Lately, they’ve been arguing constantly because Ronald is busy with a project, coming home late every night reeking of alcohol.
After dinners, he goes for massages with friends, sometimes even staying out all night, leading to daily arguments and eventually cold wars between Janice and Ronald, both feeling tortured.
Upon some friends’ advice, Janice went out to have fun for a few days. Ronald was furious when he found out and confronted Janice for a long time. Janice coldly said to her husband, “What? Can you do things I can’t do? Treat others as you want to be treated, don’t you understand?”
Marriage requires trust and loyalty. Not discussing issues can lead to significant problems. On the other hand, voluntarily asking and being honest are two different things.
Don’t plant seeds of doubt in your partner’s mind, as they can become invisible bombs that even flowers and romance can’t defuse.
No matter how perfect and sincere your explanation is after the fact, the other person may still see it as excuses. Most of the time, being upfront and honest will lead to trust due to sincerity.
Before doing something, think carefully. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If they opposed this, how would you feel? This can prevent unnecessary arguments and greatly avoid hurting the relationship.
Just like Tulei said: In marriage, beauty and ugliness, wealth and poverty don’t have to match, but loyalty must be equal. Only mutual loyalty and trust can support each other till old age.
Turn a blind eye
Life shouldn’t be about nitpicking. Learn to live comfortably and contentedly. Based on advice from friends over the years, as long as your partner doesn’t cross any fundamental lines, turn a blind eye. Being too nitpicky not only affects your emotions but also irritates the other person.
Relationships are not about one person, and neither is marriage. Nitpicking only leads to mutual harm, causing panic and boredom. Even the strongest relationships can fall apart because of this constant friction.
Everyone has moments of weakness where their actions might not be well thought out. Remember, as long as no fundamental lines are crossed, there’s no need to demand an explanation from the other person for every little thing. Just let it slide, talk about it later, and avoid repeating it next time.
The reason some marriages last while others are short-lived lies in their different approaches to managing the relationship. Constant monitoring and nitpicking in everyday life can wear out the feelings, eventually leading to a breakup. Even if they meet again in the future, they may not want to be together.
As shown in “Naked Marriage Time,” two people in love, experiencing marriage, constant nitpicking and distrust from both sides, will eventually conclude: Details defeat love.
In marriage, I may not pave the way for everything, but I’ll be there when it counts, fulfilling all the details you expect from me. This is enough to show my loyalty and trust in you.
Use retreat as an advance tactic
Laura has been married to her husband Eden for seven years, and their love has only grown stronger over this time. They’ve never had a single argument. When asked the reason by others, Laura simply attributes it to having good luck and marrying a husband who knows how to cherish her.
The truth is simple. Laura never openly points out her husband’s “flaws” as a man, such as staying out all night, leading a wild lifestyle, or flirting with other women.
If Eden doesn’t want to come home, Laura generously agrees. She’ll send him a message saying she’s going to bed, and later call to ask if he’s back, if everything’s okay at home, assuming he’s back, etc. This prompts her husband to return home immediately, avoiding partying.
If her husband plans to go to a bar or for a massage, Laura will suggest that she’s also been invited by friends and ask if they should go together. The most cunning part is when her husband shows interest in other women, Laura will act vulnerable, pretending that she has a persistent admirer at work causing trouble, hinting that she has other options if he doesn’t cherish her.
People often fail to appreciate what comes easy. Many think that as long as something isn’t easily obtained, it’s enough. But the key lies in the subtle tactics used after being together.
It’s essential to make your partner understand that what seems ordinary to you is a grand feast to others. Men, due to their “flawed mentality,” will continuously boast about how great their wives are and how much they cherish them. With this mindset, how could such a relationship fall apart?
To truly understand marriage, maintain a proper distance. It’s not about being indifferent; it’s about effectively managing them while making them happy to be managed by you, feeling fortunate to have you around.
