The Most Difficult Heart Knot—Why Did I Experience Emotional Betrayal
From experiencing betrayal to finally completing the healing process, it’s almost a necessary emotional journey for those who have experienced betrayal in relationships. However, different people are at different stages in this journey.
At the beginning of betrayal, you probably only care about whether the person who hurt you still loves you. You may only focus on how to handle this relationship or marriage. At this stage, you are deeply wounded and confused, torn between decisions.
But eventually, this relationship will be defined in some way. You will gradually adapt to this new relationship, whether it’s continuing the marriage, breaking up, or maintaining a superficial harmony. Everyone will find a way to solve the problem and adjust to a new state to find stability.
However, these are just practical issues. The deeper healing comes from within. Many things hurt less over time. But the emotional knot inside may never be fully untied.
Facing emotional betrayal, you will realize that dealing with emotions is not the hardest part. The most difficult part is letting go of the emotional knot.
Those who have experienced betrayal often struggle with one question: Why did I have to go through this experience?
Once this question arises in your mind, you must answer it. Otherwise, you will be trapped in confusion when recalling the past.
Therefore, you must give yourself an explanation to understand the true significance of this experience.
Simple inspirational words won’t help with this question. You must fully acknowledge the explanation you give yourself.
So, what answer should you give yourself to quickly calm your mind when memories resurface?
Firstly, every experience in life has its own meaning.
You can gain something precious from any experience. The more insight you have into life, the more you gain. Experiencing betrayal in relationships may be the most tormenting experience so far in your life, but you should realize that it can also provide you with the most “gain.”
If your answer is “none,” there are only two possible reasons: you haven’t realized your “gain” or you are still on the journey and haven’t completed it.
Many people learn to be independent and brave only after experiencing betrayal. Just as many people transform and grow through hardships, those who have experienced betrayal have likely gone through a similar transformation.
If you look back at your past self and compare it to who you are now, you will see many changes. These changes signify growth, which is a result of experiencing betrayal. In other words, you have progressed. You just haven’t acknowledged your progress or you are focused on the future challenges rather than appreciating how far you’ve come.
Secondly, life is never perfect, especially in relationships and marriage.
At a certain age, you will accept the conclusion that “life is not perfect.” Therefore, many insightful individuals create their own challenges and troubles to follow the imperfections of life. This includes a psychological aspect where even those with happy marriages may experience other worries and pains. Success in work and career may also bring unexpected disasters. These are all part of the pattern of imperfection.
No one’s life is always smooth sailing. Similarly, no one’s life is always full of suffering. If you are willing, take a look at other aspects of your life. Perhaps you have good health, lovely children, a decent job and career, and so on.
Fate distributes joy and sorrow equally to everyone. It’s just that joy and sorrow are assigned randomly.
If you can see through this, the problems you face are meant to show your weaknesses and limitations. It’s a reminder to work on yourself and strive for perfection. If you fail to learn this lesson, you will remain trapped. But once you break free, it means you have succeeded in this aspect.
In the end, relationships and marriage are just experiences in life. We must eventually face the realities of life and death, let alone the scars from relationships and marriages.
When we look back on our lives in old age, we should be able to do so without regrets. What truly brings regret is not what we have experienced or who we have met, but wasting our precious life because of someone or something, falling into endless pain when we should be enjoying life.
This is the true nature of life. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you can find peace.
