The Bizarre Endings of Extramarital Affairs
If a marriage encounters an extramarital affair, some strange phenomena will appear.
It is those who have been betrayed who reflect on marriage issues. Among the friends I have come in contact with, over 90% of them are the ones who have been betrayed. Looking at this result alone, it seems that the ones who have been betrayed are the ones responsible for the marriage problems.
So, the question arises, what about the betrayers? Most of them do not reflect on their marriage.
Therefore, the corresponding problem is: when a marriage has problems and needs repair and management, there is no doubt about that. But who bears the greater responsibility, who needs more reflection, repair, and effort?
Certainly, it is the betrayers.
If you are aware of this, you must accept a corresponding truth. If the betrayers do not reflect, as the ones who have been betrayed, if you spend all day reflecting on the marriage and yourself, wouldn’t it be meaningless?
Do you know why many people are willing to go through all this trouble? It’s because they are not independent. Being dependent means they cannot be without the other person, even if the other person is a scumbag or garbage, they still treat them as precious and hold them in their hands.
Those who refuse to divorce even in death are often the ones who have had extramarital affairs.
You might think that since they have already had an extramarital affair, they should give up the marriage and the family. So, divorce should be a natural and acceptable outcome for the ones who have had extramarital affairs.
But strangely, over 80% of those who have had extramarital affairs do not accept divorce. Of course, these individuals do not refuse divorce by admitting their mistake or begging, but usually by using a combination of hard and soft tactics and throwing tantrums.
You say, “Let’s get a divorce,” and they may agree on the surface, but they will set up obstacles for you through harsh conditions. In reality, they simply do not accept divorce. So, today you accept these conditions, and tomorrow they will come up with new ways to make things difficult for you, and you will never be able to leave.
You may find it difficult to understand this behavior, but it is not complicated. First, having an extramarital affair does not mean giving up the marriage. Second, those who have had extramarital affairs also fear divorce. Third, not wanting a divorce is usually not because they cannot bear to part with you, but because divorce is not advantageous for them. Ultimately, it is still a continuation of selfishness.
Reaching the stage of divorce does not mean a clean break.
If you have not experienced an extramarital affair, you may naturally think that if your partner cheats, it is reasonable to ask them to leave with nothing. But you are seriously mistaken. There is only one situation in which they will leave with nothing, and that is if they voluntarily do so.
And someone who is capable of having an extramarital affair has a selfish side, so think about how likely it is for them to voluntarily leave with nothing.
Some people, after having an extramarital affair, will solemnly tell their spouse, “Rest assured, I will take responsibility for my mistake. If you want a divorce, I will leave with nothing!”
Do not be too naive to believe this. If you don’t believe it, make an appointment with them to get a divorce and see if they can fulfill their promise. Do you know why they make such promises? It is to keep you stable and prevent you from divorcing. But once it actually comes to divorce, they will change their mind.
Therefore, in reality, it is the ones who have been betrayed who end up leaving with nothing. Because they simply can’t take it anymore, preserving their life becomes the priority, and they have to give up everything else.
Many people focus only on the extramarital affair itself when dealing with an affair. But what I want to tell you is that it is the attitude and behavior of the person after the affair that truly reveals their character.
A person who has been betrayed once told me, “What truly disappoints and hurts me is not the betrayal itself, but the even uglier face that is revealed after the betrayal.”
