The Best Way to Forget Someone: Recall Intensely Until Exhausted
They say too much of anything will lead to a backlash. When we repeatedly indulge in the same food, our brain will react by starting to reject it. Similarly, when we keep admiring the same scenery, our aesthetic sense will tire and become weary.
So, can forgetting someone be achieved by truly trying to forget? In my opinion, absolutely!
“Go Against the Grain”
Some say nothing is more sorrowful than a dead heart, and forgetting is the best way to erase someone from memory. However, forgetting someone is always the most challenging step to take.
My good friend Mark and his girlfriend broke up abruptly one spring. During that time, Mark seemed lost and dispirited. It wasn’t until a company dinner, where he confided in us, that we realized he couldn’t move on without her.
That night, we talked a lot and tried our best to console him. The next day, he did not disappoint us. He appeared lively and more proactive than before.
We jokingly told him not to fill his work schedule to forget her, as it would backfire.
To our surprise, he disagreed with us. His point was the more you try to forget, the harder it becomes. So, instead of avoiding or deflecting attention, just think about that person when you want to. Over time, feelings will fade, and you will find peace.
Yes, you can openly recall every moment with that person when you think of them. Perhaps recalling those memories will bring you joy. But as you habitually remember a little each day, you may realize she’s not as important anymore, and those memories become less significant.
Just like our daily meals, something we do every day, but often forget what we had for breakfast.
So, never deliberately evade memories or try to forget someone, as it will only make the memories more vivid. It’s better to go against the grain!
“Face it Calmly, Recall Openly”
In my emotional journey, what stands out the most and is hardest to forget is my ex. He was an outstanding guy, and they say love is based on admiration. Every quality of his aligned with my ideal type, making it hard to forget.
The day I was told about the breakup, my mind went blank. For almost a month, I tried not to think about him and avoided eye contact if I saw him.
During that time, everywhere on campus reminded me of him—running on the track together, having meals in the cafeteria, practicing dance in the studio, and planning events in the department.
I tried many ways to forget him: keeping myself busy, but in idle moments, his image would sneak into my mind and dominate my thoughts.
Also, seeking a new relationship, but every person I met later was compared to him, none seemed as exceptional or admirable.
Time was my last resort. After three long years, I finally bid farewell to the past in the weakest way possible. Maybe time made the feelings fade, or perhaps facing it without evasion brought acceptance. In any case, letting go of someone feels remarkably comforting.
Looking back at those agonizing times, if I could go back and console my past self, I would say: face it openly, don’t avoid it, don’t avert your gaze.
Time is the best medicine. Correctly facing it and adjusting your mindset are crucial. Make time to think about that person; one day you’ll realize that life goes on even without them.
What is the best way to forget someone? Some say time, others say finding a new love interest. However, both perspectives can be seen as avoidance. No one talks about facing it correctly, recalling intensely, until you adapt and find peace.
Some love and forget easily, while others take time to warm up but love intensely. Everyone interprets Hamlet differently. Loving someone varies, but the ways to forget someone are limited.
To forget thoroughly and decisively, the least recommended method is to let time heal. You never know how long healing will take, it could be a month or even three years.
For the past me, forgetting someone was incredibly hard. But for the current me, avoiding someone is avoiding the truth about that relationship and lacking self-confidence.
So, instead of beating around the bush, face it boldly. Remember, the best way to forget someone is to recall intensely until you’re exhausted and finally let go.
