Relationships

How to Get Through the Bottleneck Period or Adjustment Period in a Relationship?

Managing the Transition from Romance to Companionship When a relationship moves from the passionate love stage to the adjustment period or bottleneck period, both parties may start to lose patience with each other’s flaws. As time spent together increases, so do conflicts and friction due to heightened dependence on each other, leading to frequent minor disagreements. How should this period be dealt with or resolved? First, let’s look at how the adjustment period and bottleneck period are defined. In his book “The Wisdom of Life,” Schopenhauer proposed the three basic elements that determine a person’s fate: What am I, what do I represent, and what do I possess? Based on this line of thinking, there are three fundamental questions that people need to answer in life: their relationship with the world, their relationship with others, and their relationship with themselves. Among these three questions, the relationship with oneself influences and dominates the relationship with the world and with others. When you enter into an intimate relationship with someone, this model needs to change. Your partner stands out from all other people, and “our relationship” becomes a new element in this model, with its position being equally important as “my relationship with myself.”

August 9, 2024 6 min read

Most of the Time, We Like Someone Because of Our Own Flaws

The Pitfalls of Seeking Love to Fill Inner Emptiness In this world, only a very few relationships are based on the mutual attraction and growth of two independent and healthy individuals. Most people like someone because of their own troubles and flaws. For example, loneliness, deprivation, the need for rescue, or seeking parental figures. When unable to handle these issues, they seek someone to escape or fulfill themselves. And then, troubles continue to arise.

August 7, 2024 5 min read

When a Man Ignores You, Ignore Him Back, and Watch Him Flinch

Sukhomlinsky once said, “True love requires not only love but also mutual insight into each other’s inner world.” Love is not a solo act. Loving someone more doesn’t guarantee they’ll love you back equally. Just loving someone isn’t enough to keep their heart. Sometimes, a little strategy is needed to understand their thoughts and capture their heart in the right way. When a woman falls deeply in love with a man, her biggest fear is him changing his mind and leaving. After all, he can just walk away, but she can’t unlove him.

August 6, 2024 5 min read

The Couple Who Can’t Get Along But Can’t Leave Each Other, Let’s Do This

In “Fortress Besieged,” it is said: “Marriage is like a fortress, with people outside wanting to get in and those inside wanting to get out.” Before marriage, looking into each other’s eyes was all about brightness, but after marriage, it’s all impatience. Before marriage, the couple experienced romance and many adventures together; after marriage, the daily grind weighed them down. Single people long for marriage, while married people yearn for the single life.

August 5, 2024 3 min read

When Opposite Sex Relationships Go Beyond Friendship, It Often Starts at These Times, Don’t Doubt

“Most relationships that go beyond friendship start with friendship.” The line between friendship and love can be thin. Sometimes, a simple action or word can change everything. You may not even realize it, but your relationship with someone of the opposite sex may have surpassed mere friendship. Love and friendship are delicate. Despite the distance, sometimes it only takes a single word or action to blur the line between them.

August 2, 2024 2 min read

How Could You Not Feel Hatred for Someone Who Betrayed You?

Stay away from those who easily advise you to be generous, so that you won’t be struck by lightning because of them. This sentence actually makes a lot of sense. Encountering betrayal in a relationship, it’s normal to feel hatred and a desire for revenge. This is a normal reaction for anyone—to be hurt by someone for no reason, even a Buddha would probably roar like a lion. However, in reality, there are always so many people comforting you: Let it go, don’t dwell on it, why carry so much hatred all the time, why are you so narrow-minded, why not give others a chance…

August 1, 2024 5 min read

How to Tell If a Guy Truly Loves You: 3 Things to Look Out For

Hugo once said, “The love that’s just starting out sees only life, but the love that lasts sees eternity.” Beautiful love always needs to be tested, and perhaps in real life, many women have a habit of constantly asking their men if they truly love them. At first, the guy might patiently answer, but as time goes on, he’ll start to get annoyed with this behavior. However, the underlying reason women ask this question is because they want to know if the guy truly loves them.

June 21, 2024 5 min read

What Happens When Couples Sleep in Separate Beds for a Long Time? 3 Men Tell the Truth

Relationship experts say: Before marriage, people find each other very attractive, but things change after marriage. Before marriage, couples want to be together all the time, even cuddle while sleeping. But after marriage, things can change. Some couples end up sleeping in separate beds. Some couples do it because they lost feelings for each other, while others do it for the children. Many wonder why married couples sleep separately and what happens after they do it for a long time.

June 20, 2024 2 min read

How to Overcome Relationship Doubt and Insecurity

Always Suspecting Boyfriend, Worried He Might Cheat Next Second, What to Do? Came across an interesting tweet: “Dreamt that my husband took a second wife, and the vinegar jar exploded in my dream. It was full of negative energy, which made me vent my anger at him all day!” I wonder what all the girls think after reading this tweet? This reminds me of a funny story: Tom wanted to hang a painting. He had nails but no hammer, and his neighbor had a hammer. So, he decided to borrow the hammer from his neighbor. Just then, he started to have doubts: What if the neighbor didn’t want to lend him the hammer?

June 19, 2024 6 min read

Good Spousal Relationship, Not About Traditional Gender Roles

In ancient times, the concept of the husband working outside and the wife managing the household was considered the norm. If a woman appeared in public, it was seen as a disgrace to the man and she would be criticized and looked down upon by others. Nowadays, with gender equality, many women have become the pillars of their families. However, due to the need for family stability and the traditional roles of childbearing and nursing, many families still follow the pattern of the husband working inside and the wife working outside.

June 18, 2024 5 min read