Never Treat Your Wife Like “Family,” No Matter How Understanding She Is
When men are in love, they often use endearing terms like “baby,” “dear,” or “sweetheart” for women. But after marriage, these terms change to “wife” or “the kid’s mom.” In many families, couples don’t even address each other by name.
The change in how they address each other signifies a shift in the relationship. From getting to know each other as lovers, to getting married, having children, and becoming life partners, the transition from romantic love to familial love can feel natural.
So, it’s common to hear many female friends complain that their partner was so kind before marriage, but changed after tying the knot.
Remember, never treat your wife like family, no matter how understanding she is. These three points will explain why!
When you treat your wife like family, you may start taking her efforts for granted.
A friend mentioned how before marriage, her husband would voluntarily help with chores and be attentive. But now, he lounges on his phone as soon as he gets home, needs to be called multiple times for meals, and expects her to clean up afterward.
Even on weekends, when she takes the kids to classes, she handles all the responsibilities herself as her husband works late. The idea of “men work outside, women manage the house” seems deeply ingrained.
Many men fail to appreciate their wives’ efforts. As they move from one family to another, they are used to having a female figure around, only this time, the role shifts from a mother to a wife.
While parents’ sacrifices are selfless due to the bond of blood, with a wife who builds a family with you in adulthood, the relationship should be based on equality, not one-sided sacrifices.
Appreciating and understanding your lifelong partner, just like you do with your parents, becomes even more crucial.
Treating your wife like family can lead to a lack of passion in your relationship.
I once asked a female friend in her thirties when was the last time she spent alone time with her husband. After a long pause, she said, “Probably around two years ago.” Her child had just turned three.
When I asked if she desired more quality time with her husband, she hesitated and replied, “Forget it, we’re an old married couple. Who will take care of the kids if we go out?”
Many couples use the excuse of being an “old married couple” to justify the indifference in their relationship and the fading passion.
But deep down, which woman doesn’t want to be treated like a princess or hold onto romantic notions? The courage and time to nurture passion often diminish after marriage.
In a monotonous routine, people tend to become lazy, especially in front of family, where they feel comfortable enough to show their worst side, believing that no matter how bad they are, the other person won’t leave.
Therefore, over trivial matters, couples may lose the spark in their relationship, spending less and less time together. Even activities like watching movies, shopping, or dining out turn into luxuries.
The lack of excitement doesn’t stem from a change in roles but from not putting in the effort to strengthen emotional bonds after treating your wife like family.
A trip to the supermarket to buy her favorite fruits today, and helping you clean the house tomorrow. A caring word, a small surprise, a hug, or a kiss can turn mundane life into a sweet journey.
Treating your wife like family may make you overlook her subtle feelings.
A teacher once said something I really liked: “I strongly oppose the idea of spouses becoming family. Family is family—my mom, my dad, my daughter are family, but my wife is my lover, my beloved, my partner; she’s different!”
This statement is classic and emphasizes the importance of a husband’s attitude and approach toward his wife in marriage.
A man’s behavior towards his lover and his family is entirely different. Towards a lover, he naturally shows affection, closeness, and youthful zeal.
However, towards family, familiarity often overshadows fondness, habits overshadow intimacy, and the person you see every day may receive less attention and care.
The success of a marriage lies in the details. Your ability to promptly notice her emotions, moods, and actions determines the quality of your life together.
Remember, marriage is built on love. A happy marriage requires mutual understanding, tolerance, and cooperation between partners to thrive together.
In a family, the relationship between spouses is paramount. A marriage involves two individuals, and without either one, it cannot continue.
Never treat your wife like family doesn’t mean treating her like a stranger; it’s about maintaining a certain level of boundaries. Legally, she may be family without blood ties, but emotionally, view her as your eternal love, your partner. This perspective fosters a lasting marital bond!
