Mom Says: You Can Date in College, But You Need to Understand These Three Things
I was reading a book once, and there was a scene like this:
Two people from different villages were secretly dating. After a while, other people found out and started teasing them. The two couldn’t handle the pressure and broke up.
But society is becoming more open now. We can date freely, even while we’re still studying. Especially in college.
However, as society becomes more open, a lot of problems have also been exposed. Some students don’t pay attention to certain things when they’re dating in college, which leads to regret for a lifetime, hurting both themselves and their partners.
When I was about to go to college, my mom told me that I could date, but I needed to be careful. These issues are about my whole life, so I have to pay attention.
Dating is important. We need to be sincere with the person we’re with, but at the same time, we need to cherish ourselves even more.
Mom said, “You can date in college, but you must understand these three things:”
Be Careful About Living Together
Bi Shumin once said:
“One day you’ll realize a girl’s innocence is more valuable than her dowry or talent.”
I have a cousin who is very beautiful. A few years ago, she started dating a guy, and they were both still in school.
They started living together soon after they started dating. After three months under the same roof, they realized they weren’t a good match and broke up.
My cousin kept studying after the breakup, but the guys around her started treating her differently. She’s a very beautiful girl, and before, a lot of guys would chase after her. But after living with her ex-boyfriend, the guys around her became colder towards her.
Nowadays, when someone tells a girl to respect herself, they always say:
“It’s not the ancient times anymore.”
Yes, society is becoming more open. We’ve learned about a lot of open cultures. We’re not as responsible with our feelings anymore. We can date a lot of people, and we can break up with a lot of people. Morality is becoming more lenient for everyone, but human nature is often selfish.
The famous playwright Bai Yansheng said:
“Don’t test human nature. Human nature can’t withstand the test.”
Don’t think that just because you can live with a guy casually, that others won’t mind later when you’re with someone else. My mom actually told me:
“Guys might say they don’t mind, but they actually do mind in their hearts.”
At the time, I thought my mom was old-fashioned and her thinking was different from ours. Later, when I started dating, I realized that guys actually think the same way as my mom.
One time I asked my boyfriend:
“A classmate lived with someone and then broke up. I wonder if she’ll find a good husband who will treat her well?”
My boyfriend told me:
“Someone will definitely accept her, but their attitude towards her will definitely be different.”
I realized that men actually care about this, so my mom was right.
You can see a lot of college students dating these days. On Sunday mornings, you can see many couples returning to campus, hand-in-hand, coming out of hotels.
Some girls have had abortions for their boyfriends after going to college. In the end, they can’t get pregnant anymore, but their boyfriends break up with them. They’re left to find someone else to take the blame.
Women need to be responsible for themselves, and men need to know how to be responsible for women. You can date in college, but don’t do things that cross the line easily. Especially girls, you need to know how to protect yourselves.
Be Careful About Spending Money
Money is very important. A lot of things revolve around money. In today’s society, we need to spend money when we go out. Every day in college, we’re dealing with money.
However, as a student, you don’t have much money. If you’re dating, it’s also a bit of a pressure for a guy.
When I first went to college, my mom told me:
“You can date, but don’t just spend other people’s money. Their parents work hard, and maybe this guy has his own difficulties. Don’t put him in a financial crisis.”
Now I realize that my mother’s advice was very correct. Sometimes, when you’re dating a guy, you always want him to spoil you and buy you nice things, but you don’t think from his perspective. Maybe he doesn’t have the money. He loves you, but he doesn’t have the money.
My mom taught me not to spend other people’s money carelessly, but also taught me to think from a man’s perspective and taught me to be considerate of others.
College relationships are uncertain. Maybe you spend a lot of his money, and then you break up. You’ll feel guilty and feel like you owe him.
So, it’s best to find some part-time jobs in your free time and support yourself. Leave the life of asking for money to your future husband. Don’t try that with your boyfriend.
Don’t Forget Your Goals
Women can be dumb as rocks when they’re in love, and sometimes men get carried away by their feelings too.
But if you’re dating in college and you’re always immersed in the relationship, and you don’t work hard to improve yourself, then your future will become more and more difficult.
That’s why my mom told me:
“You can date in college, but you need to know what you want to do after graduation, and work towards that goal.”
Because of my mom’s advice, I knew to improve myself while dating in college. We helped each other, and I got into the company I wanted to work for after graduation.
So, when you’re dating in college, don’t forget your goals. If you forget your goals, one day you’ll realize you’re not good enough for your partner, and your love will come to an end.
The best kind of love is when two people have the same goal and work towards it together. Then you’ll have a beautiful life together.
You can date in college, but there are a lot of things you need to understand. As an adult, you need to be responsible for yourself, responsible for others, and responsible for your future.
Love is a part of life that we must experience, but it’s not everything. Don’t forget to see things clearly while you’re in love.
