In Bed, This Is How Men Show Love
In relationships, women often wonder: Does he really love me? How much does he love me?
Nowadays, everything is about efficiency, even dating. Being in a relationship for over three months without physical intimacy is considered slow.
Not only women, but men themselves may not always be clear about whether their passion contains love or is just hormonal impulses. The shorter the time of knowing each other, the harder it is to distinguish.
To find out, it’s simple. After a couple of months of being intimate, the passion for each other’s bodies fades. Even the most clueless man should know where he stands in the relationship by then.
However, women may not have it figured out. Men, with their innate advantage, can easily separate love from sex. Even if they don’t love her, they still passionately desire her in bed.
If they rarely spend time together, only talk online, and every date ends up in bed, women will inevitably question if they are seen as a casual fling or a partner.
How can women in such situations quickly determine if men are sincere?
Reading Milan Kundera’s “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” gave me insight. The novel explores the emotional stories of Tomas and women, delving into deeper themes of lightness, heaviness, spirit, and flesh.
Many women have a “sexual friendship” with Tomas. The book describes it as a compromise between fear and desire, where love is kept at bay. Breaking this rule would make his lovers feel inferior and cause a commotion.
The pattern Tomas follows with these women is they never spend the night together. He despises waking up next to a stranger’s body late at night.
However, when Tomas meets a woman named Theresa, love blossoms. He eagerly yearns to share a bed with Theresa, a departure from his usual behavior. Waking up one day, he finds Theresa holding his hand tightly, feeling an unexpected happiness.
For Tomas, spending the night together is a sign of love. Making love and sleeping with a woman are two different acts, showing distinct emotions. Love is not about sexual desire but the desire to share a bed with someone special.
Tomas may seem casual about intimate relationships, but internally, he is sensitive and even has some spiritual cleanliness, finding it distasteful to spend the night with someone he doesn’t love.
In reality, although most men may not detest sharing a bed with someone they don’t love, their behavior towards loved ones undoubtedly differs.
This difference reveals their true emotions and is a crucial moment for women to observe.
When women reminisce about a man’s past fervor, tenderness, and devotion as proof of love, remember: Is there a pattern in his passionate gestures?
After a man’s physical desires are satisfied, and the need for physical intimacy fades, only the emotional connection remains. At this point, a man’s treatment towards a woman is determined by his feelings for her.
Even the frequency of contact follows a man’s pattern of sexual needs. After fulfilling physical desires, he may become distant until the desire resurfaces, prompting him to reach out again.
If there is a mental connection, or at least he cares about the woman’s feelings, a man will continue to show warmth, kindness, and physical intimacy.
This is undoubtedly an excellent opportunity for women to understand men. If a man’s passion and tenderness are only present before intimacy, it’s time to open your eyes and think carefully.
If a relationship doesn’t progress, it’s not about blaming anyone. But if the intention was never for a serious commitment from the start, that’s a different story.
As long as both parties agree and are unmarried, having a friends-with-benefits relationship is acceptable. Just don’t deceive under the guise of love.
While it’s fine to be flirtatious, remember, there is still a sense of decency even in promiscuity.
