How People Who Have Experienced Emotional Betrayal View Cause and Effect
Unlike good and evil, if you have doubts about good and evil, then cause and effect is something you must believe in, the so-called “All phenomena are empty, but cause and effect is not.”
Many times, when unexpected things happen to us, we always can’t figure it out. Why did this happen? Why did I encounter such a thing?
You might feel like fate is playing a joke on you, thinking that the heavens are deliberately making things difficult for you. I did nothing wrong, why do I have to go through all this?
Yes, maybe we did nothing wrong, but everything must be cause and effect. If there wasn’t a certain past “cause,” you wouldn’t encounter the subsequent “effect”; there is no effect without a cause, and no cause without an effect.
Someone who has experienced emotional hurt once asked me, “Teacher, I really don’t think I did anything wrong in this relationship. Even if I didn’t do well enough, I still didn’t do anything wrong. I worked hard every day for this family…”
Yes, you didn’t do anything wrong, you even did very well. So why do these things still happen? If we look at it from a cause and effect perspective, at least, that person was your choice in the beginning…
There is always an effect if there is a cause, it’s just that sometimes we can’t see it or don’t acknowledge it.
Cause and effect is a real existence, but it is a lengthy process, sometimes not quickly realized. Just like choosing a certain person (cause) in the beginning, after many years, you experience hurt (effect).
It is precisely because of the long feedback loop of cause and effect that some people, after sowing the seeds, do not see the “results,” and think they got away with it, but in reality, you can’t escape it; it’s just that the cause and effect come later.
When discussing the issue of cause and effect with readers, someone once asked me, “Why don’t those who betray emotions see any results?”
Yes, this is a real issue, but actually, the results are already there, aren’t they? At least, even if you and that person are still married, you can’t love them as much as before, can’t treat them as well as before. This is their effect, and this is just a “small effect”; the big effect is losing the marriage and family, losing you completely.
A statement that many find hard to accept, but is actually reasonable: the best way for the betrayer to see the “effect” is to lose you. However, you must first accept losing them; because you can’t accept losing them, they evade this effect, in other words, you dissolve the cause and effect for them.
Another layer of meaning of cause and effect is that a person always acts in a certain way in society, and sooner or later will get corresponding results for their actions.
For example, those who betray emotions will never truly receive genuine emotions; and those who experience emotional betrayal, although feeling painful and helpless at the moment, always have the foundation to receive true emotions.
The deeper layer of betrayal is a form of selfishness. A selfish person may not face significant “effects” in marriage, but in society, they will pay the price for their selfishness and bear the corresponding results because not everyone will tolerate them.
What is this principle? An example makes it clear:
A person who is a habitual thief steals money from their parents. The parents, out of love, let it go, thinking stealing only results in this. Then the person goes on to steal from others, assuming others will also be forgiving, but in the end, they might face imprisonment.
Therefore, cause and effect are a true existence. Buddhists have a profound understanding of this, hence saying “cause and effect never fail,” advising people to sow good causes to reap good effects. Conversely, if you do evil, you will definitely face evil consequences.
Of course, Buddhist enlightenment on cause and effect goes deeper; they divide cause and effect into three lifetimes: past, present, and future. When we can’t understand why things happen in this lifetime, we tell ourselves, “Let it go, consider it a debt from a past life, repaid in this life.”
In reality, the three lifetimes’ cause and effect also exist. Why?
Our current “effect” is actually related to the “cause” sown by our parents, and the “cause” we sow in this life will also influence the final “effect” for our children.
A person may not fear good and evil, but they must believe in cause and effect because cause and effect are a real existence. If you live unjustly in this life, even if you manage to escape, the “effect” is only delayed, ultimately harming your children.
Therefore, emotional betrayal is by no means a simple matter of style, nor is it related to whether two people are suitable for each other. Those who truly respect cause and effect and care about their children will never choose to betray marriage and family.
