How Long Can a Marriage Last? Discussing “Money” Clears Everything Up
People often say: love and money are always at odds, because talking about money hurts love, and talking about love hurts money.
In our ideal world, emotions are simple, pure, without any materialism. But in reality? Money is often needed to sustain a relationship.
In love, a man wants a woman who doesn’t care about his money, even if he has nothing. And a woman wants a man who is willing to spend on her, even if it’s just $10 and he spends $9 on her.
Are emotions and money always in conflict? Not necessarily. While dating, couples may try to avoid this issue, but in marriage, it’s inevitable. If handled well, love and money can coexist.
In marriage, how long a couple can stay together depends on discussing “money.”
Every relationship is built on a financial foundation.
After marriage, the first issue to tackle is who controls the finances.
At many weddings, you hear jokes about who will manage the money after marriage.
Not only family members are curious, even outsiders want to know the answer from the couple.
Some couples feel awkward addressing this initially, but eventually, they have to face it.
One of my friends was like this. At first, she didn’t handle her husband’s money, fearing he’d think she’s materialistic. Her husband spent recklessly, not knowing where his salary went every month.
A year after marriage, she felt it couldn’t continue. She asked her husband to give her control of the money. At first, he was uncomfortable, but as their savings grew, he started trusting her completely.
Their life improved, they bought a house, a car, and had a child. Despite not having much money, he felt incredibly happy.
This stable marriage is built on money. It’s the giving that leads to receiving.
Han Han said, “We have reason to believe that love based on love is short-lived because romance itself is short-lived; while love based on money is eternal because money is eternal.”
Some say money corrodes love. But turning money into the right tool can stabilize love and make life happier.
I knew a friend whose husband valued independent women and didn’t want money to affect their relationship.
They decided on a “split the bill” system after marriage. Initially, things were fine, but problems arose when she got pregnant.
She needed regular check-ups, a costly expense, but he argued it was her expense and he wouldn’t pay until the child was born. He never accompanied her for check-ups.
From then on, she felt disappointed. After the child’s birth, money matters deepened her disappointment, leading to divorce.
Not all women who talk about money are after it, and not all divorces due to money are about materialism.
Money is the foundation of a stable married life.
In a relationship, those who avoid talking about money are often selfish.
Only those willing to give their all, including money, truly love each other and aim for a lasting relationship.
Money is the bridge in relationships.
We often say, “In times of trouble, husband and wife may part ways.”
Such couples are common. When faced with insurmountable difficulties, some leave, leaving the other to face the hardships alone.
Some couples break up over financial issues, while others face and overcome them together.
For such couples, discussing “money” reveals everything about how long they can stay together.
Kahlil Gibran said, “All of life is beautiful, even money, as it teaches people. Money is like a musical instrument; if one can’t play, it’s just noise. Money, like love, if hoarded, leads to death; if shared generously, it brings new life.”
The best marriage is where you don’t seek my money, but I’m willing to share everything, including money, with you.
Such marriages last longer and are more stable.
In love, being stingy and deceitful leads to unhappiness.
So, don’t focus solely on money, nor ignore it.
Instead of worrying, strive to earn money to shield your love from being tested by others’ wealth. That’s reality.
