Grandma Says: Giving Dowry is Necessary, and the Real Beneficiary of Marriage is the Man
Marriage and whether to give dowry have always been a controversial topic.
Most men are against it, thinking it’s the 21st century and women advocate for equality, so why is equality suddenly not mentioned when it comes to marriage?
On the other hand, women believe that dowry represents respect and sincerity from the man’s family, and it’s a form of security for themselves. Through dowry, they can see if the man’s feelings are genuine.
Both men and women have their reasons, and neither can convince the other. Due to the dowry issue, a cousin and his girlfriend who were planning to get married next year had a big fight.
The cousin said he prepared the bridal chamber, covered the banquet and wedding expenses, so the girlfriend just needed to move in without worries. Why should he still give a dowry?
After listening to the cousin’s grievances, the 70-year-old grandma said meaningfully, “Giving a dowry to the woman is necessary. In fact, the real beneficiary of marriage is the man.”
Confused at first, the cousin eventually understood after the grandma’s explanation.
Marriage often seems like the man contributes more materially upfront, whether it’s the house or dowry, it’s all prepared by the man.
However, in well-off families, the house might be fully paid for, so the woman doesn’t need to worry about the mortgage after moving in. But the house is the man’s pre-marital property, not related to the woman.
In average families, if the house is only partially paid for, the woman will have to share the mortgage burden with the man after marriage. Even if she doesn’t pay the mortgage, the part the man pays is considered joint property.
There’s also a scenario where the man can’t afford a house, and the woman needs to contribute to buying one together.
This is just the material aspect of a woman’s contribution. Many men believe that if a woman chooses to live with them, she should take on this responsibility.
While this is true, most women, after entering marriage, not only bear economic pressure but also handle many household tasks, especially when dealing with chauvinistic individuals who believe household chores are solely a woman’s responsibility.
Women in marriage not only bear the responsibility of managing the household but also handle various tasks. If men are understanding, it’s better, but if they lack empathy, it becomes more challenging for women.
Women also have to care for the elderly and children. Men often think their higher income gives them more say, so women contributing more to the family is expected.
However, if we were to quantify a woman’s contribution to the family in monetary terms, women often contribute more. Some even sacrifice their careers and futures to support their partners.
Unfortunately, many men fail to realize this and believe that women revolving around the family is a lack of capability.
Giving birth and raising children not only harm the body but also torment the mind.
Many men casually say that it’s natural for women to bear children, but the process from conception to delivery is a significant physical strain on women.
Pregnancy brings fears, morning sickness, and discomfort, followed by sleepless nights in later stages.
Raising a child isn’t easy. Many new mothers struggle to get a full night’s sleep for months. While some supportive men may help with nighttime feedings, most believe it’s the mother’s duty.
When a child is sick or fussy, they depend on the mother. Men find children cute and play with them, but when they become difficult, they quickly turn to the mother.
Some men even betray their marriages during this time, leaving women feeling more helpless.
Women bear children because they deeply love a man, sacrificing their careers, bodies, and often facing marital problems instead of receiving extra care.
Taking care of elderly parents is a responsibility. While daughters-in-law aren’t obligated to care for their in-laws, in most families, men push this duty onto their partners.
Men often believe it’s a woman’s duty to care for the elderly without considering their feelings.
Women not only face career pressures but also dedicate significant energy to the family, children, and husband. When parents fall ill, men think they can’t neglect work, so the responsibility falls on women.
Most women, for the sake of family harmony and considering economic realities, accept this arrangement without complaint.
However, many men, regardless of their financial contributions, dominate at home and seldom consider things from a woman’s perspective.
Should men give dowry to women? Why are women so insistent on dowry?
Many people struggle with these questions, but when we dissect the roles of men and women in marriage, the answer becomes clear.
Women value dowry as a means to earn respect and security for themselves, but this money pales in comparison to what women invest in marriage.
Some argue that love should not be measured in money. While this is true, marriage is different from romance. Love sustains, but marriage requires practicality and shared responsibilities.
Life isn’t a movie where you can summarize years with a simple line. Every day requires effort from both partners.
Women don’t ask for much. Through dowry, they seek acknowledgment and security from the man and his family. When their dignity is safeguarded, they muster the courage to navigate the complexities of marriage.
Most women still bring the dowry money into the new family, viewing it as a financial reserve for the future. Ultimately, it’s for both partners to lead a genuinely happy life together.
The words of the 70-year-old grandma are worth pondering.
