From Estrangement to Father, Perhaps Another Kind of Fulfillment

I once read: “A father’s love is like a mountain, towering and intimidating, making people hesitant to climb; a father’s love is like the sky, broad and profound, making me look up and feel pity without daring to howl; a father’s love is like a river, slender and flowing, making me hesitant to wade.”

I often hear people say “strict mother and stern father.” It’s because of the seriousness of the father that many people are close to their mothers but distant from their fathers.

Especially when encountering a father whom one doesn’t like very much, the relationship with the father becomes even more distant.

It is said that children who lack paternal love are psychologically incomplete. However, everything is a double-edged sword, with both advantages and disadvantages. Being estranged from the father may not necessarily be a bad thing; sometimes it is just another kind of fulfillment.

1. Learning to Appreciate the Hard-Earned Warmth

I remember when I first went to college, there were four people in the dormitory, three of whom were accompanied by their parents, but only one person came alone with her luggage.

When she first arrived at the dormitory, everyone thought her parents had not arrived yet, only to later discover that she had come alone.

After living together, it was noticed that she rarely had phone or video contact with her parents. If there were calls or videos, it was only with her mother. It seemed that there was no concept of a father in her life.

Everyone thought it would be difficult to get along with her because she didn’t get along well with her family. Surprisingly, she had a very good personality and a grateful heart.

If someone was kind to her, she would immediately repay the kindness.

Once, while chatting together, she said, “I have been estranged from my father since I was young. I have never felt fatherly love. It’s because of this that when someone is kind to me, I cherish it even more.”

In recent years, it is often heard that boys should be brought up poor, and girls should be brought up rich. Why raise girls to be rich? Because if a girl is raised poor, she will be very touched by a little money given by someone else and might be with them for the money.

Similarly, if a person has not received love since childhood, they will easily be moved by a little kindness in adulthood. Such a person understands gratitude, because they know that their own family hasn’t treated them well, so it’s not easy for an outsider to treat them well.

Therefore, being estranged from the father since childhood may not necessarily be a bad thing; sometimes it is precisely learning to appreciate the hard-earned warmth.

A grateful person is a kind-hearted person, and such a person will gain many friendships.

2. Maturing Early without Dependence

There is a saying, “As long as a father is alive, a son will never mature.”

Children without fathers always have to learn to take responsibility early. From childhood to adulthood, the father is the child’s dependence, providing both psychological and material support for the child’s growth.

But if a father is distant from the child, the child does not receive paternal love, so the child will truly feel lonely and helpless, and gradually understand.

Only one’s own efforts will make life better, because no one can be relied upon.

Being estranged from the father will make a person more independent. The potential in a person is brought out by pressure. If a person is too close to the father, then they may think that everything can be done by the father. Because of this situation, in real life, there are many rich second-generation and official second-generation individuals who do not work and rely on their parents, idling all day long.

Being estranged from the father will make a child mature early, learn to strive, and learn to manage their own life, and create a sky for themselves as soon as possible.

3. Learning to Love Because of Unloved

In my memory, my father has always been distant from me. The image of my father in my memory is only a serious face.

When I was young, I saw other children sitting on their father’s shoulders, and I was very envious. But my father’s shoulders were too high, and I couldn’t climb up. My father only gave me a cold face and endless criticism.

I once saw other children going to school in another city, with their father pulling the luggage behind them. I would shed tears, and sometimes I often thought:

Why is my father different from other fathers?

Later, I traveled to many cities alone, met many people, and experienced many setbacks. Although my father wasn’t very good to me, when I encountered setbacks outside, I still thought of my father and home.

Some may think that because I have not received paternal love, I do not know how to love others. In fact, quite the opposite, it’s because of this that I have learned to love.

Because I know how difficult it is to lack love, when I see others, I also like to love others with my own warmth.

Understanding the pain of being unloved, I know how to treat others kindly.

Later, I learned to be content. Sometimes, it is precisely because of estrangement from my father that I have become a more loving person. I also secretly vowed that in the future, if I have children, I will definitely love them, because I know the feeling of lacking paternal love, and I don’t want my children to lack love like I did.

Sometimes being estranged from the father is precisely another kind of fulfillment. Without the father’s protection, I learned to face life’s ups and downs alone. Sometimes, I may have complaints about my father, but I believe that everything life gives us should make us better!

If in life, God closes the door to paternal love for you, you must believe that there is definitely another window waiting for you.