Don’t Wait Until You Lose Them to Appreciate, the One You Can Rely On Is the One Who Dislikes You…
Qian Zhongshu once wrote in his book “The Besieged City”: “Those who are trapped in the city want to escape, while those outside want to rush in. This is the case with marriage and career, as people’s desires often contradict each other.”
When it comes to love and marriage, we often use the phrase “cherish” to advise others and ourselves.
Because we all know that the future is full of uncertainties. Even if two people love each other today and vow to be together for life, they may still drift apart tomorrow.
However, most people tend to take things for granted when they have them. Once they get used to something, they start to feel that it’s ordinary and neglect its importance.
It’s like in a marriage, when the couple lives together, they might not appreciate each other’s presence. Instead, they might start to dislike each other due to the mundane and trivial aspects of daily life.
When we’re disliked by our partner, we might feel unwanted and unnecessary. If that’s the case, then our partner is definitely unreliable in times of need.
But when that moment arrives, you’ll realize that it’s not true.
So, I advise married couples not to wait until they lose each other to appreciate the importance of their partner. The one you can rely on is the one who “dislikes” you the most.
Nietzsche once said, “Marriage is unhappy not because of a lack of love, but because of a lack of friendship.”
You might think that being disliked by your partner is a sign of an unhappy marriage, but it’s just an illusion. If you dig deeper, you’ll find that your partner treats you with such candor because they consider you their closest and most beloved person.
It’s like many married couples who see only the advantages of their partner before marriage, but after marriage, they only see the disadvantages.
Zhang Xiaoxian once said, “Love is about showing your best side, while marriage is about showing your true self.”
So, in marriage, there’s no one who can be perfect in terms of character, habits, or lifestyle. There will always be something that the other person dislikes or even hates.
It’s normal for you to be disliked in some aspects. However, we must understand that dislike doesn’t mean a lack of love or a desire to be with you. When you’re in trouble or unhappy, your partner will still stand by your side and protect you from harm.
I once knew a colleague whose parents were like that. They had different personalities and interests. The father loved sports, while the mother loved gardening. They would often argue, but when the father got injured during a run, the mother took care of him without saying a word.
After that, the father finally understood that the one he could rely on the most was the person who “disliked” him the most.
Listening to my colleague’s story, I felt that his parents had a good relationship and were quite lucky. Although they didn’t get along before, they learned to appreciate each other after the incident.
The most fortunate thing in life is to understand the importance of appreciation. You’re still by my side, giving me the chance to make up for lost time.
In “Letters to Juliet,” there’s a quote that says, “Love and marriage are like seashells. Don’t pick the biggest or most beautiful one, but the one that suits you the most. And once you’ve found it, don’t go searching for more.”
We often have a misconception that what we have is ordinary, and the best is always the next one. So, we keep searching and pursuing, only to find that it’s all in vain. What we had before was actually the most beautiful and unforgettable.
The same applies to married couples. We often envy others’ marriages, thinking that they’re luckier and have a better partner. So, we start to dislike our own partner and neglect our marriage.
Marriage is most afraid of being ordinary, living a life that’s not good or bad, just mediocre. It’s only when we’ve experienced ups and downs and misfortunes that we can appreciate happiness.
If you understand this, but the person by your side has already left, it’s too late. You’ll regret it, but time won’t turn back, and the person who “disliked” you won’t come back.
There’s no such thing as an unhappy marriage, only unhappy couples. Those unhappy couples are unhappy because they didn’t cherish their relationship.
Don’t wait until you lose them to appreciate, the one you can rely on is the one who “dislikes” you the most. Don’t wait until you want to cherish, but it’s too late.
