Don’t Be Kind to Those Who Have Harmed You

There’s an old saying that goes: “Forgive others as you would have them forgive you.”

But as I grew up, I realized that letting some people off the hook for how they treat you can only drag you into a mess.

It’s important to forgive, but it’s also important to distinguish right from wrong.

You can learn to endure, but you shouldn’t always be a pushover.

When it comes to people who have hurt you, there’s no need to hold a grudge or seek revenge, but sometimes there’s no need to be merciful either.

I remember when I was very young, my dad fell seriously ill, and my mom took me to visit my aunt.

While visiting, my aunt constantly criticized my mom.

At that time, I was too young to understand what my mom was going through, but as I grew older, I realized that my mom had been enduring a lot.

Dad being sick was probably hardest on my mom, but in the eyes of others, it seemed like my mom was the one causing dad’s illness.

Being blamed while suffering herself was like adding insult to injury.

Years later, the same thing happened.

This time, it wasn’t my dad who was sick, but my grandpa.

Instead of taking care of him, my aunt blamed me, saying my grandpa had worked hard his whole life for me, even though I was born when he was 62 and in poor health.

I wanted to tell her that my grandpa worked hard for his children, not me, and now that he’s old, no one else is taking care of him except me.

After my grandpa got sick, my aunt’s constant scolding over the phone caused his heart condition to worsen.

Sometimes, even your own relatives can strike you when you’re vulnerable.

For people who harm you, there’s no need to be kind. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean you have to go easy on them.

Sometimes, it’s important to give them a taste of their own medicine. So, when my aunt treated my grandpa that way, I didn’t hold back anymore.

I called her out, and in that moment, I truly lost a relative, but such a relative should have been lost long ago.

Don’t feed a wolf under the guise of kindness, and don’t maintain unnecessary relationships out of pity. Your kindness will only be taken advantage of. Whether it’s family or friends, treat others as they treat you.

People who don’t appreciate your kindness are better off out of your life.

The other day, I received a message that said:

“I gave my all, but she left me. I know I wronged you before, and now I apologize. Can I come back to you? I’ll do anything, just come back to me…”

It was a private message from my ex-boyfriend, and it seemed very sincere.

To someone who doesn’t know him, he might seem deeply affectionate.

A year ago, we met at a gathering, and our personalities clicked. We started dating, and I always respected him and helped him through his difficulties.

I supported him emotionally and financially.

But to my surprise, he fell for someone else and heartlessly broke up with me.

He was my first love, and I was devastated. When I received his message, I knew he must be feeling the same way I did when he left me.

There’s a Buddhist saying:

“What goes around comes around.”

The pain you cause others will come back to you.

When I received his message, I didn’t intend to hurt him, but I didn’t agree either.

I knew he was hurting and wanted me to comfort him, but I didn’t feel the need to be kind to someone who had once hurt me.

I was his emotional support, but now I won’t be there for him anymore.

When I was good to you, you never appreciated it. You never thought about my feelings when you left me.

And now, you come back seeking comfort.

In this world, no one is the only choice for anyone. I’m not someone you can call upon and dismiss at will. Some people, once lost, will never return.

In this world, stories are endless.

As we journey through life, we encounter many things and many people.

Sometimes, we face challenges, and sometimes, we get hurt by others.

For challenging situations, don’t be afraid to face them; for those who have hurt you, there’s no need to be kind.

“If someone doesn’t provoke me, I won’t retaliate. But if someone keeps provoking me, I won’t sit back and do nothing.”

Don’t try to harm others, but don’t go easy on those who harm you.

As the saying goes, “Be kind, but also know how to protect yourself.”

When faced with intentional harm, there’s no need to show mercy. Either get even or cut ties with such people.