Confronting Emotional Betrayal, Every Individual Should Begin to Awaken

If we’re talking about what must be learned and changed when facing emotional betrayal, I have one piece of advice for everyone:

You must begin to awaken.

In fact, the entire process of dealing with emotional betrayal is a journey of self-awakening.

After being betrayed, it’s not just about deciding whether to continue the marriage or forgive the other person… These are all superficial issues. Even if you can resolve these issues, if you haven’t had a thorough awakening from the depths of your soul, you’ll never be able to escape the predicament of emotional betrayal.

Before experiencing betrayal, most people view emotions and marriage as simple things: emotions are just liking someone, and marriage is just two people living together. If you haven’t experienced betrayal, this kind of life can basically be maintained until the end of one’s life.

However, after experiencing betrayal, many people start to pay attention to emotions and marriage, gradually understanding what a relationship is, what love is, and what marriage is: emotions are just a psychological projection, love is just a habit, and marriage, although based on emotions, cannot protect emotions… These are things you can only understand and accept after experiencing betrayal.

Long-term emotional relationships and marriage are, in the end, just habits.

Experiencing betrayal is like breaking this habit, which makes people feel uneasy and panicked. Often, what you can’t let go of isn’t the relationship or the person, but the habit itself; what you’re reluctant to give up isn’t the relationship or the person, but the hopes and efforts you invested in the relationship.

Then, you’ll start to interpret the betrayal, slowly finding a thread of understanding amidst the chaos.

At first, you might think you’re not good enough, that there’s a problem with your marriage, that you neglected the other person, or that you failed in managing your emotions and marriage. You might be trapped in self-blame and regret… But eventually, you’ll realize that betrayal has nothing to do with these things; the real cause of betrayal is the other person’s values and character. If you met someone else, you might not experience betrayal; if they met someone else, they might not betray either.

When you accept this conclusion, you’ll fall into despair, feeling even more painful and conflicted. You’ll understand that a person with problematic values and character is difficult to trust for a lifetime, and that they might change, but the choice is theirs, not yours… You might lose confidence in maintaining the relationship.

So, only those who can truly see the essence of betrayal from the perspective of values and character are brave enough to face reality. In this situation, they’ll start considering ending the relationship completely—and that’s when the problem arises: divorce, which is unimaginably difficult.

Entering this stage, the final layer of awakening begins, which is a thorough self-examination.

This self-examination process is like performing surgery on yourself, cutting open your inner problems and then using the scalpel to remove the stubborn diseases. This process is extremely painful.

You’ll eventually understand two things:

First, all problems ultimately stem from your own issues.

Second, all problems can only be solved by yourself.

After entering self-examination, you’ll probably realize how your original family influenced your personality and behavior patterns, and why you always encounter certain types of problems and struggle to solve them. You’ll understand that all these issues can be attributed to your character—and at this moment, you’ll finally realize that character determines destiny, and it’s indeed true!

However, precisely because you’ve seen your character, you’ll enter a low period, feeling frustrated and disappointed. You’ll want to adjust and change the strong character genes formed over decades, but it’s almost impossible to do so in a short time.

In this state, you’ll adjust yourself while accepting your fate, and then, step by step, start to gradually get better.

You’ll gain confidence, understand yourself better, choose a path that suits you, make the necessary cuts, learn to be brave, and rely on yourself. Through these experiences, you’ll recreate yourself…

At this point, you’ll finally complete your awakening; and awakening is a powerful force that allows you to stand tall, smile, and face everything.