After Experiencing Emotional Betrayal, Your Sense of Security Must Be Built on Yourself

Emotions and marriage are essential components of one’s inner sense of security. A happy relationship and marriage will contribute to a person’s emotional stability and satisfaction.

So, when a relationship faces betrayal, this sense of security will be shattered, often in a dramatic and abrupt manner.

If someone loses their sense of security, they will feel lost, anxious, and restless, constantly feeling uneasy and agitated.

Many people, after experiencing betrayal, find themselves unable to focus on anything for a period of time. The impact of betrayal can be so significant that it disrupts their normal life because their inner self is troubled, restless, and always on edge.

You must realize that although it may seem like an issue with the relationship or marriage causing your inner turmoil, it is actually the loss of inner security that is at play psychologically.

The sudden loss of this security is difficult for anyone to face and adapt to, regardless of how strong they are.

Marriage, emotions, and family are crucial components of normal life. Over time, a strong dependence is established between this connection and your inner sense of security, whether consciously or unconsciously. If not, betrayal would not have such a severe impact on you.

Therefore, when faced with betrayal in a relationship or marriage, many people choose to reconcile. Regardless of the reasons, the common goal is to regain a sense of security so you can feel grounded again and find peace within yourself.

This is a common psychological process involving “security” after experiencing betrayal.

At this point, it is a typical emotional journey. However, as you progress further, there is a fundamental distinction that determines whether a person can ultimately move on. It determines whether you have truly gained meaningful insights from the experience.

The crucial difference lies in where your sense of security is built upon.

When someone chooses to betray you, it means they can no longer be responsible for your sense of security. In fact, they are actively undermining it. The damage and impact of their choice can be severe because your security was dependent on them.

Yes, some may change for the better after betrayal, but you must accept that you can never guarantee they will not betray you again. Relying solely on them for your security will only provide surface-level comfort while leaving you internally unsettled.

Betrayal serves as a warning and an opportunity to adjust various aspects of your inner self.

To recover fully from betrayal and prevent it from causing devastating harm, the best choice is to shift the foundation of your security from them to yourself and from the relationship to other aspects of your life.

Most people understand this concept but struggle to put it into practice.

The only reasons why people cannot do something in this world are either they are unwilling or lack the ability to do so. Ask yourself which category you fall into.

Most people are simply unwilling to make the change.

This indicates a lack of maturity and independence, an inability to take responsibility for oneself. You must push yourself to become independent, especially in terms of security, and learn to rely on yourself. This process involves letting go of the dependence on others for security, allowing you to depend on yourself. Once you master this crucial lesson, not only will you be able to overcome your struggles, but the seemingly terrible and painful experience will hold value and meaning.

Another perspective to consider is adjusting the components of your life after experiencing betrayal.

Previously, relationships, marriage, and family likely dominated your life, causing immense pain and significantly impacting you. Those who value marriage and family highly often bear the brunt of betrayal, as these aspects constitute their entire lives.

Therefore, it is essential to gradually shift your focus and energy from relationships and marriage to building yourself up.

Building yourself up means doing things that are good for you and align with your true desires, whether they involve material wealth, mental well-being, or physical health. Understanding what truly benefits you is crucial.

There is a saying, “If a person needs to be persuaded to make money, then they deserve to be poor.” Applied here: “If a person needs to be persuaded to treat themselves well, then they deserve to suffer.”

Though harsh, this statement emphasizes the importance of self-care.

After experiencing emotional betrayal, it is crucial to love yourself and establish your sense of security firmly within yourself. By doing so, no one else’s actions will have a fundamental impact on you.

Lastly, understand that the person you relied on for security, the one you thought provided you with a sense of safety, is often the one causing your constant unease.